Ever since my husband passed away, I’ve felt adrift—disconnected and unsure of what truly brings me joy or where my life is headed. For the last 15 months, I’ve been in survival mode, focusing solely on getting through each day and taking care of my kids. But recently, I realized something: it’s time to start moving forward. It’s time to rediscover myself. The only problem is, I have no idea where to begin.
So, I decided to start with self-care. I’ve been exploring small, simple activities that bring me a sense of peace, moments where I can just be. This week, I turned to something I hadn’t touched in over a year: a puzzle. It had been sitting there, waiting patiently, just like me—waiting for the right time.
As I sat down to work on it, I didn’t expect it to be anything more than a distraction. But as I quietly placed each piece, I found myself completely absorbed, my worries fading into the background. In that moment, solving the puzzle became a form of therapy. There was no pressure, no rush—just the satisfaction of focusing on something small and achievable.
The puzzle itself was an image of cameras and photography equipment from different eras. What surprised me was how instinctively I placed the pieces. Despite never having done this particular puzzle, it felt almost effortless. I wondered how that could be.
Then it dawned on me: I had spent years as a professional photographer. I recognized every camera, every detail in the puzzle, even without needing to see the full picture. My past experiences, the things I already knew, were guiding me. Piece by piece, I completed the 1000-piece puzzle in 48 hours, simply by trusting myself.
That experience brought an important realization: just like with the puzzle, we don’t need to have everything figured out to move forward. We don’t need to see the full picture of our lives to take the next step. What matters is focusing on what we know right now and trusting ourselves to handle the pieces in front of us. The rest will come in time.
As widows, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the enormity of our loss and the uncertainties of the future. But healing doesn’t require grand gestures or complete clarity. It’s about taking small, intentional steps. It’s about giving ourselves permission to move forward, even if we don’t yet know what the end result will look like.
Sometimes, we may need outside help or a fresh perspective, and that’s okay. But as long as we keep moving forward, piece by piece, the bigger picture of our lives will eventually start to emerge. We’ll find our way, one step at a time.